Introduction

The establishment of affective relationships is of great importance in certain stages of an individual's life, particularly in the young adult population. There are transcendental situations at this stage such as the process of choosing a professional career that gives a sense of life, provides resources and the possibility of personal growth, as well as of starting a relationship and learning to develop oneself in the company of others (^{Rage, 2002}).

Taking this into account, couple's relationships represent a fundamental aspect in the life of the individual (^{Becerril, 2001}), and within them communication and understanding are essential for the proper development of each person and their life in society. Likewise, given that these relationships are the most intimate, in the same manner they provide ample support to the individual at the emotional and social levels.

But, what happens when these relationships do not work? Rupture occurs, which implies the experience of a relevant and painful stressor that causes the collapse of perspectives and aspirations, as well as modifications in the personal, family, economic and social spheres, and a discouraging and frustrating atmosphere (^{Jaramillo Bustamante, 2015}). On the other hand, ^{Caruso (2003)} argues that love breakup is one of the most painful experiences for the human being, which varies in intensity depending on the factors that intervene in it, which, if not handled properly, can have very serious consequences ranging from sadness and anger, to psychological disorders such as anxiety and depression (^{Fisher, 2005}).

In this regard, it can be pointed out that: (a) the culture in which one is born has a series of norms and beliefs regarding what love is, its value and working mechanisms within relationships, as well as what comes along with its loss (^{Díaz Loving & Sánchez Aragón, 1998}, ^{Sánchez Aragón, 2018}); (b) the attachment style will determine -to a certain extent- how, when, why and with whom to relate emotionally (^{Le, Dove, Agnew, Korn, & Mutso, 2010}); (c) the love history of each person will predispose the experience and grieving process, and (d) the strategy that has been performed to terminate the relationship will also be affected by the aforementioned factors (^{Collins & Gillath, 2012}; ^{Jiménez Rodríguez & Sánchez Aragón, 2017}).

It is important to remember that relationships and bonds are not established in an empty space. Conversely, they are governed by cultural norms or precepts where the love relationship develops. Thus, for ^{Díaz-Guerrero (2003)} socio-culture is a system of interrelated beliefs, generated from culture and society, which regulate or govern feelings, ideas, the hierarchy of interpersonal relationships, the stipulation of social roles to be played and the rules for the interaction of individuals in such roles. These mechanisms are represented by Historical Sociocultural Premises (PHSC, for its Spanish acronym) that refer to a system of beliefs and values that work as norms or mandates stipulating the roles of individuals, social practices and confrontational styles of a socio-culture.

Therefore, when the members of a society grow up believing that romantic love and the couple are the foundation of the family, and also believe that through it, personal fulfillment is achieved (^{Guttmann, 1993}), the love breakup and its legal consequence, divorce (or separation), are seen as a wrong decision, as something personal and not as a socio-structural failure. This continues to push people to try again and again to embark on the search for a new and more compatible partner (^{Feldberg & Kohen, 1980}). In this way, socioculture will mold the positive and negative experiences inherent to romantic love such as the mourning for the love breakup.

In Mexico, ^{Díaz Loving and Sánchez Aragón (1998)} identified a series of premises of the Mexican couple, related to: conflict-separation, passion, companionship love, maintenance, commitment, romance, sadness, tragic love, lack of love, dettachment and lastly, attraction. Regarding the content of those PHSC related to the process of romantic mourning, items were obtained such as: "When a relationship becomes unbearable, separation must happen", "Evading the partner is a sign of distancing", "When the partner takes distance, it is because they already lost interest in the relationship" , "Separation of the couple produces sadness and depression", "When you have lost a love, you suffer", "During the separation of the couple there is loneliness", "When partners take distance from one another it's because they no longer love each other".

Along this line, ^{Sánchez Aragón (2018)} carried out an exploratory study and designed a measure of PHSC romantic grief , which broadly addresses the way in which Mexicans must feel, think and behave in the event of breakup, and where aspects such as the following emerge: with respect to thoughts, thinking positively about the reasons, the reconciliation; or thinking with fatalism. Concerning feelings, feeling devalued, melancholic, terrible, resentful. Regarding behaviors, behaving with strength, in peace, courage and seeking alternatives.

Based on the above, it becomes evident that culture has relevance in the way romantic mourning is experienced, because it qualifies and adjusts their beliefs, rules of interpretation and appropriate behavior when facing a situation of personal and relational crisis in a cultural group.

However, the attachment style that each person develops from their relationship with their primary caregiver and consequently with other significant people through their romantic life has an impact on the experience of romantic grief brought together with culture. (^{Le et al., 2010}).

Attachment has been defined as a kind of "psychological bond", resulting from the pleasant and unpleasant sensations that are experienced with that significant person (in the case of the newborn, their primary caregiver, and subsequently other people) who is expected to be accessible, in order to satisfy the needs for attention, care and affection (^{Ainsworth, 1969}; ^{Bowlby, 1973}) and with whom one seeks to share, feel comfort, closeness and enjoy their company in terms of meaning and sense for personal life (^{Bowlby, 1973}).

Depending on the infant's interactions with their primary caregiver and the effectiveness of this person as an attachment figure (in response to the needs and demands of the child), different patterns or relationship styles develop predisposing people to bond with others (^{Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991}), as it is the case with couples (^{Hazan & Shaver, 1987}). The best identified styles are:

Safe style. It is characteristic of someone whose attachment figure has promptly and adequately responded to the needs of the individual having an impact that shows in a feeling of being protected, calm, full of confidence and without a self-perception of vulnerability. Therefore, in the face of separation, their behavior lacks fear or anxiety, they remain calm and when they face the presence and absence of the attachment figure, they are able to perform behaviors that express accessibility, certainty and care (^{Bowlby, 1973}). These individuals can gravitate towards the stable development of their interpersonal relationships, since they withstand relatively high levels of trust, interdependence, commitment and satisfaction (^{Simpson, 1990}). They are characterized by being tolerant to disagreements with the other member of the relationship (^{Remshard, 1998}).

Anxious ambivalent style. When the individual has this type of attachment, it is due to the lack of precise and constant response from the attachment figure, which favors a persistent doubt and uncertainty of having access to this person, as well as a permanent feeling of restlessness. So, in the face of separation, people with this type of attachment often express excessive anxiety, little concentration in the tasks they used to perform, and even feelings of nostalgia and, in the presence of the attachment figure, they express their lack of trust with behaviors of anger and protest (^{Tzeng, 1992}).

Avoidant style. It is characterized by the permanent inaccessibility of the attachment figure to satisfy the needs of attention and care, and for the emotional interpretation of the stimuli that they experience as stressful, painful and rejecting. In this case, when facing separation, these people usually show anguish, passivity and sadness, or exhibit an apparent disinterest and insecurity towards others and prefer to stay distant from them. In addition to it, they have a fear for intimacy and show difficulties in depending on other people (^{Mikulincer & Shaver, 2003}). The difference with this attachment style is that there is no claim or grievance to the attachment figure about the absence. When the figure returns, the avoidant style individual simply avoids contact and rejects it, as a way of self-protection and defensive response (^{Tzeng, 1992}). They tend to develop mental models somewhat suspicious, distant and skeptical, so their relationships become very poor. In terms of the intensity and depth of their level of intimacy, they tend to develop fear, distrust and over appreciation, somewhat unreal for others, and are unable to surrender to a permanent relationship (^{Fuller & Fincham, 1995}).

That said, in the scenario of a love breakup, ^{Davis, Shaver and Vernon (2003)} analyzed the attachment styles in young American adults who had undergone this situation. They found that those participants with an anxious attachment style had a greater difficulty in overcoming this experience, while those with a secure attachment style were more likely to seek social support to cope with the loss. Moreover, ^{Sbarra (2006)} endorsed these findings by reporting that for those participants with an anxious attachment style it was much more difficult to overcome the sadness of the loss and to accept that the relationship was over. In addition, at the time of the study, individuals with this attachment style continued to be extremely in love with their ex-partner and at the same time expressed strong feelings of anger toward them.

Several associations between union patterns and ruptures have been identified. For example, anxious attachment is positively associated with the concern for the breakup, physical and emotional distress and behavior of anger and revenge after a breakup. In addition, anxiety is related to more attempts to reestablish the relationship and more unwanted searching behavior towards the ex-partner, leading to a vicious circle (^{Dutton & Winstead, 2006}). Avoidance attachment is associated with a greater tendency to break up (^{Feeney & Noller, 1992}), as well as weaker emotional reactions and fewer proximity seeking behaviors after it happens. These findings agree with the tendency of individuals with a high degree of avoidance to evade intimacy and potential confrontations with their partner (^{Schachner & Shaver, 2002}).

Finally, self-confident people (low in anxiety and avoidance) tend to experience fewer breaks, they use more social and less self-destructive coping strategies, and are more likely to reach a resolution after the breakup (^{Davis et al., 2003}). These findings, together with the literature on attachment patterns and prosocial tendencies, suggest that attachment dimensions could predict the type of breakup strategies that people prefer.

It is precisely these findings that perfectly exemplify the fact that a person with a certain kind of attachment is to some degree "predestined" to experience -repetitively-certain kinds of emotions and thoughts regarding their relationships in the course of their life, which defines their love story in positive or negative terms. Likewise, the attachment style determines the perception and interpretation the person will make of everything regarding the circumstances that surround the love break.

In addition to the foregoing factors, the literature points out that in the experience of love breakup, it is crucial to consider who made the decision to break up. If the decision was made by both members of the couple, the process of loss will be less disconcerting or intense than in situations where the decision of the breakup was unilateral, either by who terminated the relationship (agent) or by who had to accept the other's decision (passive) (^{Agnew, 2000}).

^{Tashiro and Frazier (2003)} investigated the differences between the levels of emotional distress experienced by the people who started the breakup and those who ended a relationship against their will, but found no significant differences. These results coincide with those reported by ^{Waller (2008)} and ^{Locker, Mcintosh, Hackney, Wilson and Wiegand, (2010)} but not with the findings of ^{Perilloux and Buss (2008)} who found that those participants who had undergone a love breakup against their will, experienced more feelings of sadness, anger, confusion and jealousy after a breakup, in addition to a greater depression, lower self-esteem and more intrusive thoughts compared to those who started the separation. ^{Lewandowski and Bizzoco (2007)} found more positive and less negative emotions in the people who had started the separation, compared to the participants who reported being the target of the breakup.

Being a little more specific about the strategies that people use to communicate their message of rupture, ^{Banks, Altendorf, Greene and Cody (1987)} claim that depending on it, people can experience different degrees of anguish. In general, strategies tend to vary in their level of openness and in the amount of care or concern expressed towards the passive individual in the breakup (^{Sprecher, Zimmerman, & Abrahams, 2010}). For example, those strategies that imply indirect communication of the breakup message with the partner, such as avoiding this person, show less compassion for the receiver, and are associated with more negative results after the breakup (^{Metts, Cupach, & Bejlovec, 1989}; ^{Sprecher et al., 2010}). On the contrary, breakup strategies that are more sincere, such as openly expressing the desire to break up, reflect greater compassion or concern for the partner and are associated with less negative results (^{Sprecher et al., 2010}).

Based on all the ideas put forward so far and also on the importance of investigating the way in which these variables are linked in a single approach, the purpose of this research was to identify the relationship between the PHSC about romantic mourning and the attachment styles with breaking strategies perceived by the abandoned with a positive and negative romantic history.

Method

Results

To fulfill the objective of this study, and after performing the Kolmogorov-Smirnov test and verifying that the variables did not meet the assumption of normality, it was taken into account that the selection of the appropriate statistical test, when adjusted to the real distribution type with which it works, causes a reduction of type I error (^{Schucany & Ng, 2006}). So, the Spearman correlation coefficient (rho) was performed, one for the abandoned participants with a positive love history and another one for those with a negative love history.

Results are presented below. They are divided into two sections. In the first section, the analysis of the relationship between attachment and HSCP's with the mourning in abandoned people with positive history. Then, a subsequent analysis of people with a negative romantic history.

First, as seen in Table 1, the findings for the abandoned participants (men or women) with a positive romantic history were as follows:

Table 1 Relationship between attachment Styles and PHSC's of romantic grief with breakup strategies in abandoned partners with a positive romantic history 

In second place, in the case of the abandoned participants with a negative romantic history (see Table 2), it was observed that:

Table 2 Relationship between attachment styles and PHSC's of romantic grief with breakup strategies in abandoned partners with a negative romantic history 

Discussion

The bond with another is a need that humans have from the moment of birth, and it is preserved throughout life. When the individual grows up, the attachment figure is not the mother any more, but he/she chooses with whom to establish a bond, which among others, includes romantic relationships that throughout the years become the center of each person's life. The problem arises when these relationships are over and one has to face the breakup of love; one goes through an extremely painful process that is complicated by the variables involved, and it requires to be studied by psychology. Therefore, the purpose of this research was to examine the relationship between the HSCP's of romantic mourning and the attachment styles with the breakup strategies perceived by the abandoned partner with a positive and negative romantic history.

PHSC, attachment styles and perception of breaking strategies in participants with positive romantic history

Findings show that for the abandoned participants with a positive romantic history, to the extent that the participant believes that in the face of mourning they must feel resentful, that everything is terrible, that they should encourage themselves and be optimistic, added to the fact that they have an anxious attachment style and believe that they should feel devalued, then the person perceives that his ex-partner showed great disinterest, was indifferent and rude as a strategy to end the relationship.

In this regard, ^{Merino Ramírez (2014)} found that resentment as a negative emotion is not convenient in this grieving process; on the contrary, it slows down all progress. This author argues that if people focus on the positive side of this injustice, it will be of great help for the person to see the ex-partner in a different way and can be freed from hatred and resentment, opening their mind to phases of greater acceptance, optimism and positivity (^{Sánchez Aragón & Retana Franco, 2013}). If, in addition to this, people have an anxious-ambivalent attachment style, that is to say, they perceive they have little access to their ex-partner, but a great need to have him/her (^{Mikulincer & Shaver, 2003}), the fact that they have been left by him/ her, reaffirms the anxiety experienced by not having the person to the extent they need it.

On the other hand, when the participant believes that there is to feel resentment and that the situation is terrible, but there is some level of optimism and does not expect a reconciliation in the event of the breakup, the person perceives that his ex-partner went away little by little. In this case, the fact that people consider that the way they were left by their partner was by taking distance from the relationship and by letting pass aspects that were previously relevant in the relationship, favors rancor. And this, coupled with the belief that they should feel terrible in such a situation, with little optimism and no hope in reconciliation, makes the process they are going through harder and more hopeless, as mentioned by ^{Caruso (2003)} and ^{Fisher (2005)}, who argue that love breakup is one of the most painful experiences for the human being, that varies in intensity and favors negative affectivity (^{Rosales Sarabia, Rivera Aragón & García Méndez, 2015}). They also affirm that if not handled properly, it can have very serious consequences and lead to anxiety and depression.

It is worth mentioning that the slight optimism that can be observed might be an objective re-evaluation effect that the person makes about the situation, which allows him/her to think that things happen for one reason and that better things will come in future relationships. This positive vision allows the individual to minimize negative experiences (^{Páez, Bilbao & Javaloy, 2008}).

Also, when the abandoned person perceives that his ex-partner ended the relationship directly, expressing real concern for what he/she might feel, the person may believe that there are possibilities for reconciliation, even if it is not so. Thus, it seems that in the thinking of the abandoned, an impasse remains that provides a good memory of the relationship that can no longer continue, but at the same time, this courtesy and care can be interpreted as an "open door to a return". This is consistent with the reports by ^{Sprecher et al. (2010)}, who found that when this strategy is used, people have less negative post -event impact but there is no decisive sensation of breakup.

In the case of those who perceived that the relationship was terminated by their ex-partner with indirect communication in which excuses and evasives were used to get out of the relationship, this was associated with believing that in the event of mourning there should be resentment, devaluation, feeling terrible, thoughts about the reasons for the breakup and fatality. This makes it difficult to overcome, despite believing that one has to be strong. This agrees with the findings by ^{Metts et al. (1989)} and ^{Sprecher et al. (2010)} who say that this way is associated with more negative results after the breakup. It also has to do with these people thinking that they have to feel very negative things towards their ex-partners. And if this is accompanied by an avoidant attachment style, this contributes to reactions of greater hostility towards feeling abandoned when they had already lowered their barriers for the other to enter their life (^{Dutton, Starzomski, & Van Ginkel, 1995}).

In addition to this, ^{Merino Ramírez (2014)} claims that little trust in the possibility of overcoming a breakup, coupled with the belief that one possesses strength and optimism represents a first approach to the acceptance of the loss of the partner. However, sometimes the individual does not have the necessary strength to rediscover oneself and recognize that life is much more than everything that seems to be lost, which opens the possibility to a pseudo-acceptance (^{Sánchez Aragón & Martínez Cruz, 2014}).

In contrast, when the abandoned person believes that in the face of a love breakup, one must think that there are alternatives and be optimistic, then he/she perceived that the breakup was done by means of justification (sincere and open explanation of the reasons why he/she wanted to end the relationship). This shows a different scenario where the person assimilated the event in a less negative way thanks to their beliefs and possibly other elements characteristic of the relationship such as emotional involvement or the duration of the relationship -among other factors- (^{Sánchez Aragón & Martínez Cruz, 2014}).

Finally, in the latter case, when the participant believes that in the event of the grief he should be fatalistic and not overcome the situation, and assumes that he should experience devaluation and resentment, and not show strength, in addition to having an avoidant attachment style, then the participant perceives that when the relationship ended their ex-partner tried to convince him/her that this was the best decision and rather open the possibility to develop a friendship. This supports what was mentioned by ^{Merino-Ramírez (2014)} who indicate that this breakup strategy allows the person with the passive role to accept and appreciate the experience lived (however painful it may have been), put it in the proper perspective, emerge strengthened from the crisis , take advantage of the lessons learned, and be prepared for future challenges.

However, in this scenario, the person's beliefs are negative regarding what they feel and think which reflects their dissatisfaction with the event. Furthermore, this can be linked to having an avoidant attachment style, since this emphasizes a continuous doubt about love and about the importance of relating positively with another person. That is, the very attachment style is reinforced with negative and discouraging beliefs in the event of the breakup, which removes any positive value from the lost love bond (^{Bartholomew, 1990}, Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991, ^{Collins & Read, 1994}, ^{Feeney, Noller, & Callan, 1994}).

Now, in the case of having lived a love story which was evaluated with negative overtones, the results have a clear differentiation from those evaluated in a positive way. Thus, in the first place, when it is perceived that the strategy used to end the relationship was disinterest and apathy, or rather a withdrawal, the person with the passive role has beliefs that reinforce the experience of feeling very bad, devalued, sad, with feelings of hatred and contempt towards the ex-partner (^{Metts et al., 1989}; ^{Perilloux & Buss, 2008}).

Given these feelings, the person wonders what did he do that might have caused the breakup, but they realize that they cannot do anything to solve what happened. And if this is combined with an anxious attachment style in which the person has doubts and insecurity, a feeling of permanent restlessness will be generated, later manifesting in anger and protest behaviors (^{Tzeng, 1992}). Likewise, ^{Sbarra (2006)} reports that those participants with an anxious attachment style find it more difficult to overcome the sadness of the loss and accept that the relationship was over.

On the other hand, when courtesy and care for the feelings of the person with the passive role are used, there is agreement with what was reported by ^{Sprecher et al. (2010)} in the sense that when more positive strategies are used there will be less impact and anguish in the other person and this is reflected in the fact that people consider that after the breakup they should leave things the way they are. In this regard, ^{Merino Ramírez (2014)} and ^{Retana Franco, Silva Moctezuma and Sánchez Aragón (2018)} indicate that, in the face of events such as this, attributes such as resilience, self-confidence, structure and strength play a very important role in the way of reacting. Thus, these participants also have an avoidant attachment style that allows them to "better resolve" the loss because they have a tendency to independence and interpersonal distance. This can result in the person reinforcing not focusing on the loss but on the gain of the breakup (^{Urra, 2010}).

Taking into account what ^{Sprecher et al. (2010)} affirm that negative strategies will bring greater suffering, in this case it was found that when excuses and justifications were used to get out of the relationship, the abandoned person considers that it is necessary to think that everything will be bad in their life and it will stay that way, in addition to wondering why it happened. Furthermore, having an anxious attachment style favors the experience of dissatisfaction, hopelessness and tension with respect to the breakup, since they express the presence of the ex-partner is necessary for them to feel complete (^{Melero & Cantero, 2008}).

Finally, when the person with the passive role perceives that the ex-partner clearly stated the inconveniences of continuing the relationship, that is, convinces him/her of the reasons for the breakup, this situation was related to believing that they must feel terrible, feel very bad about themselves, and experience grudge towards the ex-partner. In this regard, other studies have found that the type of perceived strategy contributes to attenuate the emotional impact on the person (^{Metts et al., 1989}; ^{Sprecher et al., 2010}) despite living a devastating situation (^{Caruso, 2003}, ^{Sánchez Aragón & Retana Franco, 2013}). This strategy is perceived this way because, although they recognize the difficulty of the situation in emotional terms, they also see that something better will come later and they will find another person soon (^{Larraburu, 2010}). This belief is increased if they have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, since it will generate a permanent restlessness, where anger and very negative feelings arise, but at the same time, the person feels relieved that this will end at some point (^{Tzeng, 1992}).

In conclusion, both the culture and the attachment style are impacting the breakup strategies perceived. A constant pattern is not observed, but it can be said that -according to the findings- the fact that a participant with a positive romantic history perceives that he or she has been left by their partner because of pretexts, is because their socio-cultural beliefs are those of devaluation, resentment, fatalism and their attachment style is avoidant or anxious. On the other hand, abandoned people with a negative romantic history perceive having been left because of pretexts and by disinterest -mainly- when they have beliefs of devaluation, melancholy, of feeling terrible, with resentment and fatalism. Here, the anxious style showed a sustained effect that makes them perceive that the breakup occurred due to negative strategies.

It is worth mentioning that correlations exist in almost all cases, although of a low magnitude, so it is recommendable to continue working on this subject, in pursuit of knowing the impact that the breakup has, not only on the person who has the passive role, but also on the person regarded as the agent, and also evaluate the ways of thinking, feeling and acting upon this, depending on the breakup strategy used by the other person.

In addition to this, generally, the data found in previous investigations were confirmed by this study, but there are new data that may only appear in the Mexican culture, so far as this can be claimed. To verify this hypothesis, transcultural research is needed in order to know how the phenomenon occurs in other cultures. There is still a lot to be done, but the present research intends to show an additional vision of this complex phenomenon since most studies analyze the different stages of love, but leave aside what happens once the relationship is over, as well as the impact that this breakup has on both members of the couple.